June 4, 2016 @ 8:59 AM

 

I think I am confidently going where no me has gone before.  This afternoon I sit staring through my French doors at the little banana pepper growing in my patio garden.  It is pointing at me as if to say: "You are supposed to be writing, not trying to find distractions."

 

It wasn't pointing at me this morning.  It directed its little pointer finger at the sun and must have followed it through the day until it saw me struggling with my confident journey.  This day has been filled with maybe no distractions.  Only peace and quiet (even the dog next door is not barking). It was so quiet I could hear my doubtful thoughts bombarding me.  Why am I writing a book?  I don’t want to write a book.  As a matter of fact, I don’t want to do anything creative.

 

 

A friend and hair client, Rose, once asked me:

"Have you always enjoyed writing?"

My answer was an immediate "yes." No hesitation. I expressed that I think I am going to mess this up or not do it correctly.

"You can't mess up God's plan."

I thought this was God's plan.  Maybe it is not.  Maybe it is my plan.

 

Now, my "what-if girl" shows up.  What if you are wasting your time?  What if I am not?  What if it doesn't sell?  What if it does?  Then you have to go on some kind of book tour.  You can't go on a book tour.  You're too blond, too fat, too short, too tall, too tired, too old. That does it.  Back to editing.

 

The little Banana Pepper is write... I mean right.

Back to editing.

Bossy little Banana Pepper.